I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My feet surprised me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
