I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
