Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
