:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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