i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
