you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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