were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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