I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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