apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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