My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
