i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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