This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize