So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
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We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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