I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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