if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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