if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you made out with another girl for some wings
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
