I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize