So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
