You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
