i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
