i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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