Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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