Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
