Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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