just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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