But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize