So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
