Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
