i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
