suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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