I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
