i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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