This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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