he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
