Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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