Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
