I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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