Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
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