It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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