plz talk dirty to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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