Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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