we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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