He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She announced her abortion via fbk
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
