I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
