So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
