i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
