My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
