Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
