you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
