By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
