i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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