Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
