i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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