No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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