eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You made out with two different species that night
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
