me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
