It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
