I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we're so committed to being not committed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
