I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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